Spoony Bard Presents: A Very Special Announcement!

Are you a fan of the Spoony Bard Podcast?

If you are, have we got a surprise for you!

YOU ARE INVITED TO STARK’S WEDDING!

That’s right folks- On April 15th, 2012, Stark is getting married to his waifu, Kasumi, at the White House!

And our fine nation’s president, Barack Obama will be hosting the ceremony!

What’s that?  It sounds too good to be true?  Well we thought you may say that, so we went ahead and typed out some words that the president probably has said:

“My fellow Americans, I am pleased to announce that I am hosting the wedding of one of the men behind what is this nation’s most important podcast.  The Spoony Bard podcast is an inspiration to all of mankind, and I’m pretty sure the Navy SEAL team that took down Osama Bin Laden listened to it all the time.  This podcast is a true example of everything this nation’s founding fathers believed in.  That is why all of America, and myself, are honored to be a part of the wedding between Stark and a two-dimensional woman from a Japanese-animated television show.  Oh yeah, and um… vote for me!  Seriously though, who else are you going to vote for?  Mitt Romney?  Rick Santorum?  Those guys are total fucking retards.  What’s that?  Pizza’s here?!  Awwww fuck yeah! Gotta go…”

You may be thinking to yourself, “well gee, this sounds like a swell time but I don’t know how to get there.”  Don’t worry- here’s the address!

The White House

America, Fuck Yeah, 20500

Still can’t figure it out?

That’s why Stark bought a GPS satellite with his insane amount of podcast profits that will beam the directions directly into your mind!!!

(WARNING:  May cause cerebral hemorrhaging)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!!!

About the author

Stark

Varms.net's expert on anime and just about anything else you should not discuss with friends, family, and co-workers. I also play some video games so I can complain about them with Gillman.
  • Caseman

    May your first child be a masculine one! Huzzah!