Man Attempts to Take over Denny’s with Only Briefcase Full of Crack and other Odd News

Because most credible news places, not us though, don’t think that weird news is worth devoting an entire story too; the New Sentinel has decided to take a handful of odd stories from the last month to amount to one thing worth telling.  We at this website call that a gold mine of humor.  A word of warning, you may laugh too hard at stupid people.

The only real problem is that the Sentinel seems to think that the world’s shortest man is worth the bulk of their effort and storytelling.  The real hero of this “not-really-news” cycle is the man to barged into a Denny’s, claimed he was the new district manager, cooked his own meal, and directly after he was arrested was found to have a briefcase full of crack based goods.  Sure, you have cops arresting other cops for stealing food out of the work fridge—because I guess that is a crime only if you really want to push it—but a man who shouts the warning not to dine and dash as he is being pulled out of a Denny’s should have his own hero based award given by Auto-Tune the news, or the Onion at the very least.  He is a cracked fueled super-hero of stupid.

Source: News Sentinel

Man Arrested after Failed Robbery/Banking Attempt

A man was arrested when he returned to a bank that he had, moments before, attempted –and failed— to rob in order to withdraw money for the cab ride home.  Now it is clear that things didn’t go according to the man’s plan, the teller walked away behind bullet proof glass when he slid her the robbery note, but that doesn’t mean that the best idea was to jump in the closest cab and drive away.  Granted, I am sure during the planning stages it was more than clear that he was going to have more than enough to pay for the cab ride and leave a nice tip; sorry guy, cab rides are for winners—losers take the bus.

In another interesting concept, the man clearly was attempting to rob the bank that he himself a banker at.  This might not have been a great idea as the moment that he would have ever returned, or possibly even anyone there was shown his image, he was sure to be caught.  Was he planning on fleeing the scene to only return hours later and deposit the exact amount, minus cab ride, into his account?  I am pretty sure that this is the kind of thing that police and bank officials look for directly after a robbing.

Source: Herald Extra