Shark 3 Feet Larger than Jaws Found

Shark spray... something... something... laugh.

Jaws was a story about a 25 foot shark that ate people like I eat corn-nuts—fast, with much pleasure and very little remorse.  In the movie it took several hardened sailors, a cop, a not quite big enough boat, and an exploding barrel to take it out.  It seems that in the real world over fishing and increasing ocean pollution was probably enough.  On the coast of a Rhode Island town a 28 foot shark, 3 feet longer than jaws, washed up on shore.  While it probably isn’t advisable as this could easily turn into some kind of Sand-Shark incident, New London locals have quickly been going out to observe this beast—presumably while poking it with sticks and the like.

Most of my Jaws knowledge comes from either The Whitest Kids You Know parodies, or Kevin Smith talking about it non-stop and using it as a unit of measurement on his podcast, but from what little I know is I can easily conclude that this thing probably has children that are angry and entirely blame you for their parents’ death.  There were hundreds of people scared enough by that movie to not go into swimming pools, let alone open water, after that movie—my guess is that this should be enough to convince those people that they might want to start pooping outside and on the ground, away from any would be attackers.

Source: Washington Post

Spoony Bard Podcast: Episode 46: Fuck You, Don’t Judge Us

This week we play Japanese NES games that never made it over to the States.  If you ever wondered what Kid Dracula was like, we can tell you.  You want to know a little more about Gimmick? We have you covered.  Some random side scrolling shooter that I can’t think of the name of?  We have one of those too.  I also bring up MegaTen games and how they started, but since they are kind of impossible to play without knowing Japanese I am sort of limited to just talking about “interesting things” that I know around them.

We also continue our conversation about the new Tales game, Stark brings up Mass Effect 3, and I tell him that Kevin Smith and him should just make out already.


Man Calls in Fake Gas Leak for Love

In a classic example of “how could they every find out it was me?”, a man called in a fake gas leak to see if his girlfriend was hiding another lover in her home.  It turns out that telling your girlfriend that you are going to do this, repeatedly, and trying to break into her house just before the call comes in are not great ways to hide your soon-to-be attempted break-in.  Sadly the story does not tell if the man was correct in assuming that his girlfriend had someone in there.

Strangely this reminds me of a story from one of Kevin Smith’s Podcasts when he was talking about Jason Mewes (Jay to his Silent Bob) whispering for him to be quiet, looking in the crack under the door, and randomly walking into his sleeping girlfriends room to see if there was a guy hiding in there.  Now in Jay’s defense he was out of his mind on heroin, and possibly other drugs, and all of that stuff probably made a world of sense to him at the time–Kevin Smith said that he was very convincing about the whole matter.  I am guessing that something like that is probably at play here too, seeing as the guy does not have a phone number, and probably without famous friends to back him up on the possible logic of it.

Source: AP (Via Daily Harald)