In February 2010, a 30 year old New Zealand woman passed away from a heart attack. However, experts are starting to blame her death on her 2 gallon a day habit of drinking Coca-Cola. Information from a pathologist has indicated that the woman was suffering from low potassium and had toxic levels of caffeine in her body when she died, both of which can be caused by drinking massive amounts of soda.
Representatives from the Coca-Cola Company have made this comment about the situation: “We concur with the information shared by the coroner’s office that the grossly excessive ingestion of any food product, including water, over a short period of time with the inadequate consumption of essential nutrients, and the failure to seek appropriate medical intervention when needed, can be dramatically symptomatic.” It should also be noted that this woman’s partner has said that she also ate very little and smoked about 30 cigarettes a day. The lesson of the day: Soda and smoking are not a good substitute for a proper diet.
The controversy over the ending to Mass Effect 3 has come full circle, resulting in Bioware giving into fan demand and proposing a new ending in the near future, and EA getting stuck with Consumerist.org’s Golden Poo award for “Worst Company in America.” Being a bit of a slowpoke due to other events in life, I have just finished my play through of Mass Effect 3, and I have watched every version of the infamous ending that everyone cried foul over. My verdict? I actually liked the endings, and I have no idea what all the whining was about. That’s right folks; I’m going to explain why I stand by the ending to this game, even if that means making the entire internet my enemy. Be warned, there are spoilers ahead…
One of the biggest complaints about the ending seems to be that all of the choices made during the trilogy make no difference in the ending. Instead, at the end of the game you are given three choices: destroy the reapers and all synthetic beings, at the risk of a future war destroying all life, control the reapers in order to end the war, or to force a new form of evolution that combines organic and synthetic life together for a true peace. All three choices come with the consequence of the mass relay network being destroyed, meaning interstellar travel is impossible again. The scenery is mostly the same for each choice. What people don’t seem to get is that the in game choices are more about how Shepard gets to this point, not so much about how this will affect the ultimate conclusion. Shepard was fighting against a force that was arguably as old as time itself; it would be silly if your decision to punch a reporter in the face during the first game could have a far reaching effect to change the events of the ending. This isn’t “The Butterfly Effect,” it’s a story about the sacrifices made to break a cycle of extinction in the galaxy.
Other major complaints seem to be that many gamers don’t feel enough was explained at the end of the game, and that is not a satisfactory conclusion. I’m going to be very blunt and say that is just plain stupid. If anything, everything is explained as thoroughly as it needed to be. What did anyone expect? Did people actually want to spend an hour at the end watching people wandering around in confusion, wondering what happened to the mass relay network? Did they want a time skip showing a new galactic civilization, reunited, traveling the stars in pimped-out starships, getting “crunk”, and eating cake? Bioware had Buzz motherfucking Aldrin himself voice a scene after the credits, of a future generation telling stories about Shepard’s legend to children, and that people are striving to travel the stars again someday. What more could anyone possibly want!?
The worst part of this train wreck of anger, is the level of stupidity on the part of the gaming community. One gamer filed a complaint with the FTC over the ending. A group of “protestors” sent cupcakes with three different colors to symbolize the colored explosions that change in each version of the ending to Bioware. The worst offense was gamers that flooded the votes for “The Worst Company In America,” causing EA to win over corporations that support unfair labor laws, cheat customers, and in some cases (I’m looking at you, Bank of America), set off a global economic crisis and violated Federal law. This has made the gaming community look like a bunch of selfish, idiotic man-babies, and is an embarrassment for the community that shares this hobby and the industry behind it.
And for all you haters of the ending, quite possibly fuming with anger after reading this article, I leave you with this:
Let’s face it, America is riddled with major problems right now. The economy sucks so hard that people fight over jobs at Walmart, financial institutions are rife with corruption and shady backdoor deals, climate change and a major energy crisis are looming above all of our heads… this list could go on forever, yet congress wants to go back to it’s old hobby of demonizing video games. Congressmen Joe Baca (D-CA), and Frank Wolf (R-VA) have proposed the “Violence In Video Games Labeling Act”.
This bill would require all video games with a rating above “EC for early childhood” to have a silly, cigarette pack type warning that reads: “WARNING: Exposure to violent video games has been linked to aggressive behavior.” This warning is tied to a study from the American Psychological Association back in 2000, claiming video games make kids more violent. The problem is, the APA realized that this study found that the only kids that became violent from games were mentally ill in the first place, so they later retracted statements based on this study. Unfortunately, some members of congress hate paying attention to details like that, and still want to waste the time and money of American taxpayers over nothing. Please America, stop voting for idiots. Seriously, that is going to ruin us all.
Not anything as exciting as a release date of Diablo 3(May 15th if you missed it), as much as an analyst saying that they expect the game to sell over 5 million copies the first year that it is out. While this isn’t really news as much as it is some random guy guessing and throwing numbers out there in an attempt not to sound wrong, it does kind of seem low. Oddly the man making these less than bold claims also starts saying random things about the next MMO, that World of Warcraft will probably see a bump from some promotions, and stops short of claiming we should kill a loved one so Blizzard notices us.
I wonder if this is also the same analyst that said that Modern Warfare would sell 6 million units day one (it would later sell 3.6 Million units); because that number seems kind of low and this could be attempt to not claim “100000 billion units in three hours!” that most people in this line of work normally claim which is almost refreshing. What is really interesting to me is that people still report these things like they are facts. On the day that the release date is announced I guess that it might get a couple more hits to your site to mention Diablo (I am clearly guilty of that action at this moment), but don’t believe this guy, or any other person claiming to know the future sales of anything.
Laurens County, South Carolina, congratulations! I never want to visit you ever.
It appears that a local politician wants all of the political candidates to sign a purity pledge; basically a written agreement that they will not cheat on their wives, won’t watch “adult videos,”, that they have never had pre-marital sex, protect gun rights, oppose abortion, and probably several other amazingly insane things. The shocking event that has come out of all of this is that the Republican Party managed to respond before any of the candidates to basically say that no one would be signing that, also it would be illegal for them to not put people on the ballot because they didn’t sign it.
In all honesty I don’t know why people are acting that surprised about this, most Republicans are expected to sign a similar pledge when they get into office, but instead of being about the purity that they all pretend to have (looking at you Limbaugh) it is about never raising taxes for any reason ever. The worst part is that most of these people seem to take these things so seriously that they don’t seem to be able to step away from it, even in moments when it would probably be best to do so. Sorry pledge, you couldn’t see the future and honesty aren’t a great reason to tie someone’s hands. Wait, it did/does? Awesome.