Spoony Bard Podcast: Episode 75: Gillman’s Red Wedding

This. Basically exactly this.
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I also kind of wanted to hide under a tableFirst and foremost; I refer to this as 74, it is really 75.  That is my mistake. I will live with that one forever.  I don’t know what happened there.  We also break the form from the norm and talk about weddings, mainly the worst one I have ever attended.

I don’t know the last time that I was invited to a wedding, mainly because I think that people view me as a bad guest.  The ones that I do go to are boring and forgettable–which could be why I never truly understood the movie wedding crashers.  This was, far and away, the worst event I have been to.  I have been to boring slide shows where people droned on for hours about something being slightly more energy efficient than something else for work, this was 10 times worse than that.  I would have chosen to have the flu then go to this thing.  It was just awful.

So please sit back and enjoy while I talk about the worst wedding I have ever been to.

 

Spoony Bard Presents: A Very Special Announcement!

Stark after his workout
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Are you a fan of the Spoony Bard Podcast?

If you are, have we got a surprise for you!

YOU ARE INVITED TO STARK’S WEDDING!

That’s right folks- On April 15th, 2012, Stark is getting married to his waifu, Kasumi, at the White House!

And our fine nation’s president, Barack Obama will be hosting the ceremony!

What’s that?  It sounds too good to be true?  Well we thought you may say that, so we went ahead and typed out some words that the president probably has said:

“My fellow Americans, I am pleased to announce that I am hosting the wedding of one of the men behind what is this nation’s most important podcast.  The Spoony Bard podcast is an inspiration to all of mankind, and I’m pretty sure the Navy SEAL team that took down Osama Bin Laden listened to it all the time.  This podcast is a true example of everything this nation’s founding fathers believed in.  That is why all of America, and myself, are honored to be a part of the wedding between Stark and a two-dimensional woman from a Japanese-animated television show.  Oh yeah, and um… vote for me!  Seriously though, who else are you going to vote for?  Mitt Romney?  Rick Santorum?  Those guys are total fucking retards.  What’s that?  Pizza’s here?!  Awwww fuck yeah! Gotta go…”

You may be thinking to yourself, “well gee, this sounds like a swell time but I don’t know how to get there.”  Don’t worry- here’s the address!

The White House

America, Fuck Yeah, 20500

Still can’t figure it out?

That’s why Stark bought a GPS satellite with his insane amount of podcast profits that will beam the directions directly into your mind!!!

(WARNING:  May cause cerebral hemorrhaging)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!!!