Research Proves Most People Don’t Want to Have Sex with Robots

Fun Fact: Silver Crow gets all the bitches.

The Huffington Post, a site that appears to straddle the line between real journalism and reporting that chickens suits are this seasons black, ran a poll asking people if they would mind having a robot do random tasks for them—from being a butler to being a sex partner.  While they are asking all the questions that I personally want answers to, I don’t know that anyone else was really wondering this sort of thing.  Naturally older people were less likely to want a robotic anything involved with their lives, and more likely to claim that someone was cheating on them if they banged out with a robot.

This raises the most interesting question for me, how is having “relations” with a robotic anything cheating? The article showed the questions and they never said anything about our metal lovers being self-aware, so that makes it even more confusing that people would become angry for basically what seems to amount to very expensive and possibly electrocuting-able masturbation.  I mean, I looked over this article and none of the questions had the answer “ahhhhhhhh! SKYNET!” as a choice so I kind of think that they were overlooking a very real, very important and well-spoken demographic.  Although a future where we are enslaved to our robotic sex-masters sounds way better then Arnold Schwarzenegger based death.

Source: Huffington Post (because I know you don’t believe me)

You Can Now Print a Robot that Kills You

MIT has decided that the best course of action for designing robots (that kill us) is to make ones that you can literally print out.  The concept was to make something that most people could design and produce within 24 hours, to help around the house or whatever.  While the concept might have started as something to try and make robotics more accessible to the average person, I am sure that is just what SkyNet wants us to think before it kills us all.

The term “printable” probably means that these things are vulnerable to fire, which is good because most robots just walk right through that stuff, so the people at MIT might be thinking a little ahead when they were making this.  The problem starts when there are so many of them that they form swarms that can quickly outnumber/over take us all.  The only solution, of course, will be to fire bomb entire cities that have been claimed by those terror creatures.  So while it might have started out with a good idea it is going to end with everything being raised to the ground in a blind attempt to gain control again.  Thanks for that, Staples.

Source: MIT (via Technorati)